My husband Chris grew up in a family of strong women. A mom who raised him and his younger sister for the most part single handedly, and a grandmother, the matriarch of the family who always had a soft spot for him. The man he became can be attributed to this group of women, and the father he is becoming must also get some credit from the other women who have entered his life - our two amazing girls (3.5y and 22 months) and I guess, me.
Before we had kids, we met, fell in love, traveled the world together, then relocated ourselves from Vancouver to Toronto. We got married, and about a year later our first daughter was born. Twenty months after her arrival, we welcomed our second daughter into the world.
The memory of Chris holding our first baby girl in those early hours of her life always brings a tear to my eye. Our lives were changed forever, just as every new parents' lives change with that tiny little person entering the world. If I knew during my pregnant months that I had a great partner, I was reassured a hundred fold once Zoe was here, then another hundred fold after our second daughter was born. I have never once felt that he doesn't equally share the parenting load with me, and often feel that he carries more.
In the months before Zoe was born, Chris was asked to be a volunteer in a program for women and kids who have fled abuse. A friend of ours runs the program, and when the group was in need of positive male role models to work with the kids, she thought of Chris. Having the experience of connecting with these women and children took on extra meaning after our daughter was here. He continued to volunteer for two more years.
Chris has a kind and gentle spirit. I have seen him rattled once or twice in our eight years together. He has seen me rattled several times a day throughout our eight years together. He is not flowery or overly emotional, but he is positive. He doesn't speak in anger about anyone or anything. He sees the good in every person and it is a quality that I hope our girls will also share. It is wonderful to have a calm, level headed and happy person in the house when you have kids. His love for his daughters and his love for me is what keeps us all going. His heart is the heart of our little family.
On a Saturday it is not rare for Chris to get the girls up, dressed and out the door quickly so I can get some extra sleep. He enjoys the time he has with the girls. When it is time to wash the car, the three of them are in the driveway - Chris cleaning the car, and the girls cleaning the driveway, house, whatever. While I relish a grocery trip without the kids (as most moms do!), Chris is fearless in taking them both with him on errands and usually comes home saying how much fun they had together. His time with them is always quality time, and I love him for that.
Life can be tough for a working dad when the kids are at home with mom. He often gets the brush off or flat out refusal at story time. Each night our oldest daughter asks hopefully, "mom, are you with me tonight?". Our youngest will refuse to let him take her plate off the table, insisting that mom take care of it. He takes this all in stride and sees the humour in it. I have decided that I will enjoy it while it lasts, because I don't doubt that soon enough he will be the favorite... I am not sure I will be as gracious as he!
Chris loves my family, and I am thankful for that. My nieces think the world of him and he always looks forward to spending time with them. They recently came over for a robot making sleepover, and Chris spent hours finding spare parts that would make the robots more authentic. He has also sat through many a tea party, often decked out in a boa, crown, or whatever else our 3.5 year old hands him to wear. He enjoys spending time with my parents and welcomes them when they visit from the East Coast. He makes life easier and more full of love for all of us, and he does it effortlessly and genuinely.
All in all, this Father's Day I will be thankful for two fathers. My own, the first amazing dad in my life, and Chris, the wonderful husband and father that makes our family better every day. We count our lucky stars to have both of these Dads in our lives.
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Submitted by Paula Porter, a momstown Milton member and
mother of two children.
2 comments:
Paula you have always been a awesome daughter, We are so proud of the Wife and Mommy you have become.
This is the sweetest tribute to Chris.He is the best Dad ever. He must be beaming today.
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