My Perfect Valentine's Day

We hear it all of the time. We are not perfect. A truth that is poignant yet certainly not despairing. As Valentine's is fast approaching, I'd like to invite you all to take a walk on Love Avenue. Whether you think Valentine's is a holiday worthy of reverence or nothing more than a commercial fabrication, I welcome you to take a beautiful leap of faith, even if only for just a moment. Fly high with me and soar on Cupid's wings.  Let's embrace and celebrate our imperfections on Valentine's Day with childlike purity and fascination.

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If you were to envision the perfect Valentine's day, what would it look like to you? I thought about such a day and an eclectic mix of feelings of both amusement and bemusement overtook me. Never having been one to do sit-ups first thing in the morning (you know...to get the heart rate going and all that), I would relish a group hug from my husband and two daughters while lounging blissfully in a fluffy robe. We would open our Valentine cards together and giggle at the messages.

Then I would indulge guilt-free in the pleasure of a warm, luxurious soak in the tub using the bath salts given to me by my children as a gift one year (yes, still haven't used them despite the frequent reminders from my considerate girls to do so!)  And while, I'm continuing my journey down Valentine's dreamland road, a nice hot cup of coffee would be lovely to accompany my soak or perhaps even a glass of "sparkling orange juice" - you know, the mommy-only kind!

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I would sit in the tub until the warm water became lukewarm and then once changed back into fluffy robe-wear, I would then practically float down the stairs as I followed the trail of the delicate sweet smelling waffles coming through my kitchen. There I would find my husband and daughters cheering as they caught a glimpse of me making my way over. "Did you have a nice bath?" they'd inquire with cherub-like sweetness. "Yes, it was lovely!", I'd murmur. And without, even the sound of a whisper, a plate of waffles with strawberries arranged in a heart shape would appear magically before me. Another cup of coffee and a little bit more of that, erm, "sparkling orange juice" would then follow. After all, Vitamin C has so many benefits...growth and repair of body tissues and is one of many antioxidants!

Breakfast done, I'd make Valentine's crafts with my girls and tease my husband about how lovely this bracelet or that necklace would complement his eyes...

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After lunch, we'd take a trek outside and go tobogganing (well maybe I'd watch my girls go up and down the hills and squeal with each downward slide) and then pick up cupcakes before heading home to make hot chocolate.  Once the bits of chocolate had melted to create our sweet drink, we'd snack on our cupcakes and sip our hot chocolate in front of the fireplace.



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With the Valentine's sugar rush flowing through us, we'd burn off some energy with a dance party and maybe try to teach the girls the lyrics to the Love Boat song to get a sing-a-long going...Or, on second thought, maybe not.

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Best of all about this Valentine's day, I'd forget the cares, the stresses that accumulate from everyday life and just delight in the fun fancies of the moment. I know that my daughters are growing up and will soon think it's "uncool" to hang with mom. And while hubby and I sometimes joke about the "unromantic" atmosphere of our kiddie-house, we wouldn't have it any other way, as for us, it's perfect.

Would love to hear about your Valentine's day walk down Love Avenue...

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Written by Liz Marques Kogan, momstown Milton member and mother of two. You can check out her blog at orchidaforever.blogspot.ca 

How to Keep the Romance Alive on a Budget

My husband sent me this email the other day with the subject line, “Be My Valentine?”:

 

Can you arrange a babysitter for next Thu / Fri or Sat?  I'd like to take you out on a Valentines date…whatever night works best for you and/or our babysitter.

I smiled when I saw the sweet note.  My immediate next thought was of our budget that we started February 1.  I panicked… we didn’t budget for this!  We have $51 left in our “meals out” category!  We can’t go over budget in our first month of really trying!  I wrote this note back:

I love the idea, but we just can’t do it this month… babysitter plus dinner would put us way over our budget.  How about a romantic dinner at home?

 

That evening we laughed about the email exchange.  We agreed that we had to stick to budget and decided to have a nice dinner once the girls are in bed.   A couple hours later, hubby asks “Where’s that teddy I bought you for Valentine’s Day the year we found out we were having Zoe?”  I, in mommy mode and engrossed in a show on Netflix (yes, cable had to go in our new budget!) replied: “Hmm, probably in one of the girl’s rooms or in the basement”. 

 He was not referring to a teddy bear, he was talking about this:

 

Valentine’s Day 2009 we were in full on baby making mode.  I received roses at work, we went out for an expensive dinner without a single thought of budget, I wore a dress I bought just for the occasion, we exchanged gifts and likely thought that we couldn’t love each other more than we did at that time.  When we found out in early March that we were expecting our first child, I’m sure we didn’t think of the impact to our Valentine’s traditions.  

Our first daughter arrived in early November and we were amazed not only at how the love in our hearts swelled for this perfect little person, but how our love for one another grew as well.   Again we felt that same heart swell when we welcomed our second daughter 20 months later.

Fast forward to Valentine’s Day 2013.  We have two amazing girls and hearts full of love.  As I sit at my computer in the kitchen our walls are decorated with dollar store hearts, my table littered with various red and pink crafts.  We will be baking cupcakes and using lots of special sprinkles, and making sure to call the girls’ grandparents who are all miles away on the East coast.   

Our date nights these days are usually spent at home in the happy quiet that exists when the girls are fast asleep. This is our new romance.  This Valentine’s Day, once bath and bedtime are over, we will be grilling a couple of steaks and sharing a nice bottle of wine.  Our meal will likely be followed by a couple of messy cupcakes with more icing and sprinkles than we would prefer, but we’ll enjoy every bite. The evening won’t be flashy and it won’t be expensive, but it will be romantic in our own way.  We will try to avoid talking about the girls, but we’ll forgive ourselves when the conversation inevitably strays there.  Our family is the biggest love in our lives now and that is just fine with us.  Who knows, maybe I will even pull out the teddy… and I’m not talking about a teddy bear.

 

This blog was written by Paula Porter - mom of 2 and a momstown Milton member

 

 

 

 

Twas the Night Before Valentine's Day..

T'was the night before Valentines day and all through the house; nothing was different from the nights before. I lay in bed and try not to worry about what didn't get done that day.

Then early the next morning, while trying to sleep I felt I had something to dread! "Sleep in honey, I am up with the kids and can handle breakfast too." So I just stay in bed. How lucky for me!

 

Over I roll and begin to close my eyes. But what should I hear but the banging and clanging of many pots and pans. Oh my dear, what will I find?! I creep down the stairs, not wanting to look but with a gasp of shock and a pleasant surprise to my eyes;

I find 2 smiling kids and a happy hubby too. Crispy bacon, scrambled eggs and warm buttery pancakes await.

 

We all sit down and enjoy the meal they worked so hard to create. " I love you Mommy" whispers my sweet angel girl into my ear as her syrup covered fingers run through my hair. Sweet egg kisses with a little mix of drool are planted with care from my little chubby boy. A hug and kiss from my dear hubby reminds I have nothing to dread. All the noise and mess come straight from their hearts.

 

 

 

While I savour this moment, I soon realize that we should never be apart. I silently vow to make everyday count. I will do everything I can to always fill their hearts with the love that can only come from me. Especially today! A day full of fun and a bunch of giggles too, make this day just fly. Tired and sleepy when it's time to head up stairs. We tuck our sweet babies into bed, get some more kisses and cuddles, and I realize how lucky I am to be me!!!!

 

 

Did hubby and I get some time alone to celebrate how much we love each other? Maybe a fancy dinner, a night away or an expensive gift? NO!

But the love that we share is a gift that we receive and celebrate each time a little blond haired girl whispers "I love you Mommy and Daddy" and her baby brother reaches up for a hug.

This Blog was written by Mandy McQuay - mother of 2 and a  momstown Milton member.

The Truth about Sex after Kids

Quote: “There's just too much pressure. What with my job, the kids, traffic snarls, political strife at home and abroad. But I promise you, the second all those things go away, we'll have sex.” Homer Simpson


After having children sex with your partner becomes not unlike the mythological creature Big Foot. People claim to have seen it, there are legends of it happening but there is no actual proof. Just a couple of blurry photos and strange hair in weird places. Ew. With Valentines Day fast approaching I have to wonder how other parents find the time or energy to keep the magic alive. Between raising two kids, working two jobs, play dates, swimming lessons, and everything else that comes along with parenting I feel like there are not enough hours or enough caffeine to even consider having a good romp with my hubby.



Sex has become a scheduled event in my day planner alongside things like “Visiting the Butterfly Conservatory” and “Grandmas Birthday”. Even with careful planning I find the dates and times almost impossible to stick too. I feel like I am trapped in some bad nature channel special with your host Outback Jack trying too prove that sex between busy parents ever really existed.

“We are here deep in the wilderness trying to catch a glimpse of the elusive Beast with Two Backs….”

There are so many things you must take into consideration when scheduling intimacy down to the second. Where to have it (are you really willing to injure yourself on the bathroom counter for it?), what outfit is the easiest/fastest to get out of (skirts always work best), where are the kids (will they hear us?) and of course do we have time for foreplay? To all the men reading this YOU ALWAYS HAVE TIME FOR FOREPLAY.




There are so many factors that can distract you from your goal of intercourse but I have narrowed my favourites down to my three most important “rules” to live by when getting it on. You may notice they are not unlike the “Rules” established in the 1984hit movie Gremlins.

Number 1: NEVER FEED THEM AFTER MIDNIGHT. Ok so no mother is actually up after midnight let alone after 9pm unless your little one is having a bad night sleep. We can just say no big meals 2hrs before and definitely nothing carbonated to drink. This may be your last chance for a while to seal the deal so you don’t want to become bloated or have some ill-timed indigestion or heartburn episode to spoil the mood.

Number 2: KEEP THEM AWAY FROM BRIGHT LIGHTS. You will most likely have to do your love making undercover. You only have a short period of time to complete the task and if it happens to be during the day when others are home turning the lights on may draw attention to you and your partner. Plus, you probably have not slept properly in months and keeping the lights dimmed not only creates a romantic atmosphere but can also camouflage the bags under your eyes and the baby food on your shirt.

Number 3: NEVER NEVER GET THEM WET. This may be the most crucial of all the rules. Sure a sexy shower does seem like it would be great fun and the sound of the water may in fact drown out some of the sounds that you make during coitus but when you are in a time crutch completely stripping down to your b-day suit takes up precious seconds. Plus there is always the explaining afterwards to the curious kids on why both of your heads of hair are wet and they only heard one shower.

If all of these rules are followed, careful planning is done, the kids go to sleep on time, outfits are reversible, rooms are sound proofed, lights are left dim, you only eat a light lunch and you still have the energy then you too may be able to keep the magic alive. And honey, if you are reading this – I will see you 2 weeks from Thursday 3:14pm sharp in the broom closet.



This blog was written by our new fabulous and extremely humorous mommy blogger Jenny Dean.