I see it when we're trying to set up a time to meet and they suggest 9:30pm, a time that used to seem reasonable, but now feels like the middle of the night (when you consider Eric's strict 5:30am wake up time) I see it when their eyes glaze over as I provide them with a detailed description of how Eric performs the Itsy Bitsy Spider. And I see it when my friend is telling me about her new boyfriend who often forgets to call her, and I lecture her on the importance of finding a partner that you can count on when the baby won't stop crying in the middle of the night.
Why is it so difficult to relate? Has having a child changed me so much that I've forgotten who I was before? I'm hoping that this is just a phase. Maybe I'm so consumed with my son because I'm a relatively new mom. Perhaps when I'm totally comfortable in this role, I'll be back to sipping martinis and talking politics (I may be slightly exaggerating my level of sophistication here). But part of me fears that the friendships will never be the same again. I'm afraid that we'll just politely listen to the details of each others' lives, as they become increasingly different.
Is there a way to hold on to the friendships? And I'm not talking about meeting up for a coffee to catch up and re-live our glory days. I mean, is it possible to get back to the place where we talked every day and told each other everything? Or is this a single girl's friendship that needs to be replaced with the intimacy between myself and my husband? I know that I'll figure this all out, as I have with the other challenges that I've faced as a new mother, but I would be able to solve the problem a lot quicker if I could chat it out with my girlfriends.
This post is written by Karen Bivand, a momstown Milton member who has a 22 month old son, Eric.
(Photo from: Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net)
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