Has motherhood changed me?

I love my single friends.  We went to school together, traveled together, and went to bars together.  When I remember my experiences as a young adult, they were always there.  So after everything that we've been through, why is it that now that I have a child, I feel like we're drifting apart?

I see it when we're trying to set up a time to meet and they suggest 9:30pm, a time that used to seem reasonable, but now feels like the middle of the night (when you consider Eric's strict 5:30am wake up time)  I see it when their eyes glaze over as I provide them with a detailed description of how Eric performs the Itsy Bitsy Spider.  And I see it when my friend is telling me about her new boyfriend who often forgets to call her, and I lecture her on the importance of finding a partner that you can count on when the baby won't stop crying in the middle of the night. 

Why is it so difficult to relate?  Has having a child changed me so much that I've forgotten who I was before?  I'm hoping that this is just a phase.  Maybe I'm so consumed with my son because I'm a relatively new mom.  Perhaps when I'm totally comfortable in this role, I'll be back to sipping martinis and talking politics (I may be slightly exaggerating my level of sophistication here).  But part of me fears that the friendships will never be the same again.  I'm afraid that we'll just politely listen to the details of each others' lives, as they become increasingly different.

Is there a way to hold on to the friendships?  And I'm not talking about meeting up for a coffee to catch up and re-live our glory days.  I mean, is it possible to get back to the place where we talked every day and told each other everything?  Or is this a single girl's friendship that needs to be replaced with the intimacy between myself and my husband?  I know that I'll figure this all out, as I have with the other challenges that I've faced as a new mother, but I would be able to solve the problem a lot quicker if I could chat it out with my girlfriends.

This post is written by Karen Bivand, a momstown Milton member who has a 22 month old son, Eric.
(Photo from: Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Having a Bad Day!

It's not very often that you would ever hear me say that "I'm having a Bad Day". Not because I don't have them, because I sure do but I was always taught to put on a happy face and I really don't run into a lot of things consecutively that I can't handle. Well this past Saturday, was one of the most trying days I've had in a very long time.

It all started off with my phone being turned off and discovering that I had 10 voice mails and 7 texts about an event that was taking place that morning at 9am. I didn't even realize that I had the calls until 9:50am! As I was on the phone trying to figure out what went wrong and do some damage control, my darling little attention seeker decided to dump the blue bin in our kitchen. I was not aware that my hubby had emptied out our shredder the night before so you can imagine my surprise when I walked into the kitchen to this mess! I took a couple of breathes and laughed it off, grabbing my camera and taking some pics- couldn't resist and it put me in a better mood.




While I was cleaning up the kitchen, I had sent Jaxon into the family room to play so that he would be out of my way. Bad idea. He came running into the kitchen pants and diaper removed yelling "poop mommy poop!" Oh my! Took another breathe and ushered him into the bathroom to wash him up. I put him down beside me to wash my hands and the next thing I hear is "uh oh". You've got to be kidding me. Not even a a foot away from the potty yet he decides to pee all over the side of the counter and on the floor. Great - Breath in, Breath out. Ok, run to the kitchen to get the my tough and tender spray from under the sink and of course I return to the bathroom to a not so "helping hand" with my son pulling at the roll of toilet paper, dabbing at the puddle and dumping the wads of paper in the toilet. Found the bright side by reminding myself that he was only trying to help and was taking responsibility for his actions by cleaning up. Gave a quick prayer to the porcelain gods - please don't clog toilet, please don't clog! Flush - phew... all is good.



Time to get out of the house. Being a member of momstown Milton has it's perks since it's pretty easy for anyone to pick up the phone and get in touch with at least a dozen moms that you can lean on for support pretty much whenever needed. Trying to get Jaxon out of the house was a challenge. Struggles to get his wet clothes off and into dry ones, a battle on getting his coat and shoes on and a full on tantrum from not wanting to be put in the car seat. I checked my watch thinking that I could justify his behaviour to being close to nap time - not a chance. It was only 10:45am! It's going to be a very long day!

Picked up a pizza on my way since I knew I would need at least an hour of venting to feel any better about my day. Pulled into our destination and realized that I had left the sippy cup on the driveway at our house and that the marinara dipping sauce had fallen down the side of the seat by the door. Opened the door very slowly and was able to catch the container before it splattered. Things were already turning around. Got inside. plopped Jaxon down with the the other kids around the trains and was offered caffeine right away! Thank goodness for mamas that know what to do in a melt down situation. Got the listening ears that I needed and felt so much better once I let it all out. Being a part of momstown has allowed me to let down my guard, share my REAL feelings and not be afraid to be judged for not being the perfect mom 24-7. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm having a bad day any longer.